Feeding on the Dead

Don't mind the morbid title, and no, I'm not depressed.

Found this dead bee (or at least, I think it's a bee) in my porch. Its pretty wings caught my eye. I've never been a big fan of insects, they usually freak me out. But I found myself being a little more cool around insects now (I used to scream, a lot). These freakish little things (some not so little) of mother nature.

The ants around it, biting and nibbling non-stop, some kind of bee-insides buffet.



Thought maybe I've abandoned this place for too long, maybe I'm trying to make it up to it. I know, how silly.

I guess, things finally slowed down on PinkPotCactus. I'm no longer too excited about it.

Okay no, that's not true.

The reason why it's not so exciting anymore is because I haven't been getting a lot of business. This new batch isn't too much of a hit. And I find other review sites giving me the cold shoulder. Maybe it's karma, maybe it's just my imagination. Whatever it is, everything about the site is slow.


So I check my mail less (though it's still like 15 times a day, used to be 30), and found myself not really wanting to do anything. How sad, not having something I want to do.



Okay, I'm boring you.


Like what they always say in movies, I need to get out more. Or rather, maybe I need to get more friends. Either way.




Maybe something a little less boring the next time. Till then =)

Go on, inspire me

Manmade Wings Source : by Cedric


This picture is taken from Christina's friend's blog. He has no idea who I am, but I've seen his designs some time ago. I stumbled upon his other blog today, and I can't help but be amazed. His name is Cedric.
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I especially love the picture above, it's so lovely and serene, it makes me happy =)



I'm constantly in this state of being in-between. I've talked about this before, and I'm talking about it again.
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I wished I was good at something, really good at it. Then I can have something I'm good at, something I can be proud of, something I can be recognized for. But I don't.
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I'm just neither here or there. I keep ranting about this, and it doesn't make me feel any better. I know, you're getting tired of hearing about my dilemmas.



I have this feeling that I can just do things, you know. Like really achieve something. But what? What exactly am I supposed to achieve?
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I am full of shit.

I always talk about wanting to do things, this and that, but I almost never get round doing them. Why is that? I have all this fighting spirit in me but I'm too lazy to get off my ass to even try to achieve them? Wtf is wrong with me =.=


Sigh. I have no excuses for being the loser self I am today. For getting shit grades, for being what and where I am today. This is what I am, what I become, when I don't work hard enough. No one to blame, no reasons to give.

Nothing.



Source : Ming Img


People all around, most of them people I don't really know. They inspire me. People like Cedric, or Wei-Ming, another one of Christina's friend (Okay, just so you know, I am NOT stalking her friends, gee). He takes great pictures (like the one above), and plays the guitar + sings. He performed John Mayer's Slow Dancing in a Burning Room for us at prom last year and it became one of my favourite songs of all time.

People who get things done, people who make use of what they're good at, people who perform. Sometimes I blame it on luck, on the influences people have on me. But then again, that's bullshit. Why should they be the one to blame, when I'm the one feeling like I have not made myself useful.


Life is so short, this is probably said a billion times a day, all around the world. But people just say it, or at least, people like me. I say it, but I still waste my time shamelessly. Day by day, right across my face, time flies.


What do I have to say for myself now?

Nothing.



It's late, maybe I should get some sleep, maybe I won't. Hopefully tomorrow would be somewhat meaningful.

I did not go missing

Nope, I did not.

I know I've been kinda missing for 3 whole weeks, at least I tweet, right? I wanted to blog a while ago, but Blogger was being a bitch and I've lost my blogging mojo again. Well anyway, used to have lots of stuff to blog about, but they're too overdue now I think I'll just let them go.

So, how was your Christmas?

Mine was alright, I spent Christmas Eve at Christian's house, Eu Jin's friend. Cool place he's got =)

Adorable little Ryan =D

The fish was great. I don't know why I took this picture in this angle, it doesn't look very appetising does it?

=)

Eu Jin, Christian, Andy, Sean, Alvin

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The rest of the pictures are on Facebook. I'm surprised I actually have the patience to upload pictures on Blogger lol.




On Christmas day, it was just like any other day. Stayed home all day and went out with my parents to have dinner. Guess where

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Yup, KFC.

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Tropic Thunder is on Cinemax, so I'm ending this with a

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"You ma.. ma.. ma.. make.. me.. HAPPPPEEEEEHHHH =D"

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You sexy thing

What shall I name her? Suggestions? =)

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A very good morning to you too

It's a little strange, not for me to be up early, but for me to bother blogging at this hour of the day, especially if I have class later on in the day, which I do.

I'm stuffing my face with butter cake, refreshing my empty PinkPotCactus inbox over and over, watching Gossip Girl (I know I'm not allowed to, but then I'd have nothing to distract me from my own life) and of course, blogging a little.

See, saya ratu multitask =)


Last night was the first time I experienced this, well actually it was early this morning, around 7. You know how sometimes your life just isn't turning out so well and you cry yourself to sleep? I did, out of frustration and anger. After all that work, I wanted to just slowly drift into sleep, to not think about my pathetic life and just sleep, where everything is calm and dreams are only dreams. Or so I thought they were.

Sleep becomes very disappointing when you dream about your life, in exact detail, only worse, and in a different place. I can't remember the details clearly, I might have even been on a boat in China. But what I do remember are all the horrible things my dad said to me, how disappointed he was. I remember how I felt, and it felt just like when I was in reality.

I was crying and sobbing in my dream, running and throwing things all over the place, screaming. It went on and on till my dad woke me up, in reality. It was so sudden I didn't really know how to react, I couldn't really look at him.

I cried again and eventually went back to sleep. After that I had several dreams, but I don't remember any of them, but they weren't bad dreams, just not good enough to make me happy.

Oh, forgot to mention that between all of that I was coughing so much I could feel my throat burning.


So what if I'm crying over spilt milk? What if sobbing about it doesn't change anything? Doesn't mean that I can be completely fine with it.


It's been a long, long morning. And I am confident that today is going to be a very shitty day.

Cheers to that.
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Messy

I haven't been having a good day. Have you?


I'm disappointed in myself, frustrated about other things, but most of all I feel so incapable.

There are many things I want to do, many things I need to do. But I can't, I lack resources, the appropriate timetable, transport. I feel so helpless to just be waiting for them to come, to be provided by other people.

To top it all off, today I found out that all my college friends passed their Moral paper by at least getting a D grade, except for me. I got an amazing F. The thought of going for Moral classes again all alone makes me so frustrated I swear I could scream. I don't understand how I'm capable of doing shit like this.

Son of a motherfucking duck.


Suddenly I'm not so confident about getting decent grades for my Law and Economics paper anymore. But why should I? I always fuck exams up.

Everytime when the results are posted up on bulletin boards, where everybody's busy looking for their names, I hope for the best. And I always find my name in the most disappointing position. I end up standing there blocking other people's way like some fucking idiot.


Sorry, I'm just scared =(

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Watch it, it's funny =)

Resurrection of the poor blog

At least a short one anyway.


Looks like I've abandoned this blog for more than a week now, the last post doesn't really count. It's sad to say that I've almost completely lost my blogging and photo-taking mojo. Since the starting of my hopeful online business (which isn't doing quite well, if I may add) Yes, the horrors of that.


I went to Penang and Cameron Highlands last week with my mother's side of the family. I took so few photos, it's a sin.


Let's see what we have.

I have absolutely no pictures of Penang, and no pictures of Cameron Highlands except for the BOH Tea Centre.
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That's proof.



A disturbingly retarded testicle looking strawberry.


And lastly, I just wanna say that I have the most adorable niece in the world.
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Bye bye now =)

PinkPotCactus

*click*

Support me?

Rollerblading at Endah Parade

Way wayyy overdue.


It's so overdue I don't even remember why we went there or why we met up lol. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was simply random.


We took some pictures with Sharlene's camera, she uploaded them on Facebook, just that I didn't know, lol. Anyway, here are some of em'.



The stick.
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The lala wannabe.

The one with a funny top =D

Reminds me of secondary. Christina was in Blue House.

Finally, a thumbs up for retardity.
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On another note, my life hasn't been too interesting recently after my finals, but I'm not complaining. I got round reading novels again, which is something I love to do. The weather has been cold and wet, so I feel more comfortable staying indoors.
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How random this post is huh.
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Well, I'm off =)
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When everything's wrong and nothings going right,

Just know that I'm not hard to find.

So just say the word and I'll race through the night,

And I'll be right there by your side.

Just Say The Word, Josh Kelley
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The Time Traveler's Wife

I was dying to watch it, and I finally did. And yes, I forced Eu Jin to watch it with me =)

And I'm really sad to say but the movie was a complete major letdown. I was so disappointed to the extent that I wasn't sure if I was watching the right movie.


Sigh, I came out of the cinema feeling all bummed out. I don't understand, the trailer was so good it made me feel great. It looked like a real tear jerker, I even cried while watching the trailer =.= I prepared extra tissue, just in case. And I didn't even use one.

Here's the trailer,

The Time Traveler's Wife Movie Trailer


I honestly thought it would be better than The Notebook.

To begin with, this movie isn't supposed to make sense. In parts, it kinda pushes it a little too much. In fact, it's rather similar to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. But that wasn't why I hated (yes hate, I'm just too disappointed to think straight) the film.

It was the cinematography, the way the movie was shot. It didn't move smoothly, it was all parts after parts with blackouts in between. I really didn't like how the movie was all put together. The dialogue was quite terrible, surprisingly lame. I don't know, but both Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams didn't stand out like how they did in their previous movies. I loved Rachel McAdams in The Notebook and Eric Bana was good in Troy.


It's fiction after all, so it asks you to put aside logic and common sense. Which I did, and I don't usually. I understood the pain, I could feel the disappointment. I didn't mind at all the absurdity in the logic of the movie, so therefore I blame the director, Robert Schwentke.

You suck.



The trailer still makes me cry, fyi. Damn it's a good trailer.

Oh, and the ending wasn't too bad though =)



Well I'm off. Nothing like waking up in the morning to do a review on a lousy movie =D
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